


Smiling Isn't That Hard

by MatchaMochi



Category: DC Animated Universe, DCU (Comics), DCU (Movies)
Genre: Clark is just really emotionally constipated, F/F, I felt funny, M/M, also, crack!, everyone is ooc becuz, still trying to figure out how the watchtower works
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-25
Updated: 2015-11-25
Packaged: 2018-05-03 07:32:56
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,745
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5282207
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MatchaMochi/pseuds/MatchaMochi
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>You could have heard a pin drop. Everyone freezes, heads turning to look at the locker in shock, and it’s unbelievable, as unbelievable as the notion of Barry being silent for a long period of time and the fact that it came true was preposterous like the act of even tainting the Wayne list.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Smiling Isn't That Hard

**Author's Note:**

> I am really bored and well since I'm still waiting for the superbat secret santa to start i'll write a funny short one, (napollya is underway too but its a little stuck damn it) anyway, I actually had this idea from a headcanon i saw somewhere in tumblr about jason coming home, dirty and all, he finds damian in the bath tub being a normal little kid for once and he decides to also be a normal big bro. dick and alfred finds out and chaos ensues in the watchtower-

“Alfred, Alfred _come on_ , you gotta look at this, this is _gold-“_

A sigh, then, “What is it Master Dick?” Hm, _really_ annoyed then, he only ever calls him master Dick when he feels like clobbering him and cooking said dick for dinner. Nevertheless! _This_ was much more important,

“Just- just _look-“_

_“I don’t understand what-_ oh.”

“Yep.”

“Oh my.”

“Show it to Bruce come on,”

Alfred gives another soft sigh, but Dick could see the smile in his eyes so he’s really fooling no one,

“Alright then.”

-

It was one of those rare occasions.

 And of course as rare occasions go in this crackpot tin headquarters floating aimlessly in space it usually, or most certainly, involves Batman. It wasn’t anything to wonder of course, the man lives and breathes routines and protocols like they were air. Anything else would be like precious fascinating tales that will become legends, higher than even that time where Flash makes a fish joke and ends up being smite for his troubles by Aquaman’s damn trident, (the marks at his ass didn’t leave for _weeks-)_. The league members drinks it up like holy water, gossip flies down from one end of the watchtower to the other faster than you can say, ‘ _Fuck it-‘,_ and the results are as per usual.

Another one ends up on The List.

-

Inside one of the locker rooms, (Barry’s-) there’s a yellowed, faded chart that is pasted on the outside. It’s old, curling around the edges, and there are dozens of doodles and dick references beside it but no one, _no one_ , touches the chart that sits on the centre.

There’s one for each of the big three, and really, the one that ever really gets filled for ‘ _Suspicious Unusual Behaviour’ (_ Hal feels thrilled every time he reads it and contributes to the S.U.B, it makes him feel like a scientist!), was Superman.

….which surprises absolutely no one since he _was_ an alien and all, and since being Batman’s complete opposite he really was entitled to be annoying and unpredictable. (This was a huge difference from Flash, with him being just annoying,).

Wonder woman wasn’t so bad too; her list in the chart wasn’t that much or was just enough. Shayera is seen numerous times giggling as she fills in yet another one from her to Diana’s list. One would need a lot of imagining, speculating just what was going on.

Wayne’s list is left untouched. Until.

Until Hal strides in, smug and grinning, his head held up high, lips curling. He heads over the locker and everyone nods at him, expecting yet another ‘unusual’ incident from Clark when the edge of the graphite touches the Wayne List. The pencil scratches on the paper like screeching metal. It was _deafening._

You could have heard a pin drop. Everyone freezes, heads turning to look at the locker in shock, and it’s _unbelievable_ , as unbelievable as the notion of Barry being silent for a long period of time and the fact that it _came true_ was preposterous like the act of even tainting the Wayne list.

Barry’s eyes are wide and confused, his mouth agape. No words come out.

Hal smirks, and continues filling some at the Kent and Prince List before leaving them all, air heavy with disbelief.

A moment passes, then J’onn asks softly, his eyes steady on the paper,

“What does it say?”

Billy, ever the little shit but of course daring, (it comes in a combo.), walks to it slowly and reads.

He pales, before muttering, “No _fucking_ way,”

The others scolds him for his language but just as soon as they get to read it they find rich expletives far more detailed than Billy’s and it’s _surreal_. Barry darts forward and peeks in- _Holy Shit-_

-was when Dick comes stumbling in, staring at everyone as they mutter, cries, and wails swear words like there’s no tomorrow.

Flash shows him The List after, and is surprised when Dick whoops, punching his fist in the air,

“Fuck yes!”

Barry shakes his head, what the hell _happened?_

_-_

What happened is this:

  1.        Jason came and sulked in the corners of the manor because he is ridiculous that way, no one can understand, (except Bruce of course-)
  2.        Jason forgot about Damian.
  3.        Both of them forgot about Dick.
  4.        Dick and Alfred is an unstoppable force that cannot be challenged by any power in the universe and is to be reckoned with, (except, maybe, Bruce.)
  5.        _This_ time though, they got him unguarded.
  6.        Clark did not react well.
  7.        Diana reacted _splendidly._



 

-

“Ducks are fuckin’ _awesome_ , my god-“

“Shut it Todd, or I will have to banish you from the compounds of the Duck Kingdom,”

“More bubbles?”

“yES-“

-

It’s in the movement of his lips, Clark thinks. Well, it being the only real visible part of his body that he could actually see most of the time, it would have ultimately ended up being about those damn lips.

They just- just never seem to _lift._

Thinned, downturned, pinched, and yes, bleeding profusely sometimes but he makes sure to remedy that of course, he just tries not to leave too much broken bones for propriety’s sake, he’s Superman god damn it, he can control his anger. And. Other urges.

He is getting off topic.

Anyway, he has tried of course, puts aside the puns and naturally dumb jokes for the darker Wayne-humour, (he _tries_ is the thing, he just can’t say any- _they’re too fucking mean-)_. So he smiles more often, it usually works. The league members say his sunshine-like upturn of the lips is as contagious as the bubonic plague (ah, that’s the Wayne-humour getting in-), so he _does_ , turns to Bruce like a sunflower and showers him with holy light until he makes sure Batman _suffocates_ in it but what it only does was make the man scowl more than ever.

It is _maddening._ It’s as if when Clark beams at him, Bruce just _hisses_ and stalks away, a shadow growing darker when the light intensity increases. So he ditches that one too. He’s getting a little desperate actually. He will _not_ resort to making a fool out of himself. Not….yet. (Not ever!)

So one could never imagine how it was like to see Bruce smile on the _meeting board_ of all places. (Except if one was Superman.)

They had been talking, Bruce, him and Diana. About, about something he couldn’t remember, before there’s a sharp, ‘ _Wait.’,_ from Batman and he stalks over to the side. Clark continues the talk with Diana but he glances back to Bruce where he has his screen out asking Alfred what’s wrong before he-

He smiles.

Beside him, Diana stills.

It’s not just the smiling- wait no, its _everything_ about the smiling that made it so damn shocking Clark stops breathing and swears he sees the universe flash before his eyes, (a natural occurrence for him actually, sometimes his super enhanced eyes goes wacko and he contemplates about the meaning of life,).

It’s the way his posture seems to melt altogether from the familiar straight-backed I’m-going-to-kill-you-and-no-one-will-know-if-you-don’t-listen-to-me stance to an all unfamiliar almost, _inviting_ bearing _._ Almost like the infamous Bruce I-am-seducing-you-right-now Wayne slouch but not quite, somewhere in the middle. It is also the slight, slight tilt of his head which was, (an unnerving unstoppable fact that feels like a kryptonite laced punch to the stomach)…..cute.

_Fuck_. That cursed word being in the same vicinity and sentence with _Batman_ is atrocious and unseemly, and _wrong_ he just has no words.

He does not bother with the smile, he fears if he stares too long he’d kill everyone by cutting the damn watchtower in half with his fucking laser eyes and leaving everyone in space to float pointlessly and him wondering why the only time Bruce fucking Wayne smiles was when it’s not _him_ -

Yes, Clark Kent is a selfish bastard, he knows, Batman and Wonder woman knows, fucking sue him, he’ll probably fly away.

The feeling stays. Doesn’t go away, and he is left confused and seething from reasons he knows is entirely unfair. The quiet laugh from his source of frustration only makes him grit his teeth and reminds him that no, beautiful and deep blue eyes or not, Bruce Wayne will never, or will ever be _his_ and that is how it was and will always be. It is set, Batman that hypes on about team dynamics and personal rules should know, _he_ should know.

 It still hurts.

Before Bruce can even go back to the table, it’s broken clean in half and Superman is striding out slamming the doors in his leave.

He gives Diana an inquiring look. She _howls_ in laughter.

No one sees the dark green light covering the security cameras. In the dark, Hal Jordan muffles his laughter and scrambles outside, degrees of excitement and shock mixing in his mind.

-

“Here comes the fucking plane!!!”

“You will not overcome me Todd! Duck Queen will stop you-“

“…”

“…….”

“What was that?”

“The Butler.”

“Did he…?”

“He had a camera yes,”

“..…. _fuck-“_

_-_

Hal grins at Superman, calling out to him, “Hey there big blue, what’s with the sad face?”

They were passing through the Atlantic by this point, the sun shining through the waters. Stars splayed out everywhere, and to the side, Hal could just make out the moon peeking out. Clark stares right at the blazing celestial body. He doesn’t blink.

“Spooky got you good didn’t he?”

Superman doesn’t pout so Clark absolutely did not. Pout.

“Hmmm, never put you as the brooding type either,”, (another one in the list! Hal is on a roll today!).

Clark doesn’t turn away from trying to fry his eyes off by the sun. He mutters, “I don’t….. _brood.”_

“Sure, sure. Anyway, when you’re done _brooding_ , Spooky wants to see you, said that you’re being an idiot again- not my words!” he quickly backtracked, (Clark is scary as hell when he wants to be,) and Hal swears he’s a second from being vaporised considering the intensity of the glare he gets from Clark.

“Just, don’t wait too long alright?”

“Right.”

He starts to float away from the hunched up figure before stopping and grinning at Clark,

“Hey if it makes you feel better,  I saw Spooky making a really weird face when you stormed out. Now think about-“

“What?”

Hal grins and says it to him.

-

(Turns out, Superman isn’t the only one who beams when the other scowls.)

-fin-

**Author's Note:**

> here's the list for anyone who's curious:
> 
> PRINCE LIST  
> 1\. Seen eating chicken with ice-cream.  
> 2\. Dyed pink hair  
> 3\. Bellowing to the song of ‘Can’t Sleep Love’  
> 4\. Likes to be pet on underneath the foot (Really?)  
> 5\. Loves a lot of ropes (Shayera, please don’t)  
> 6\. Likes pineapple flavoured lipstick (Shayera, I’m warning you,)  
> 7\. Does not like feathers in bed :( (STOP IT)
> 
> KENT LIST  
> 1\. “JUSTICE LEAGUE ROLL OUT”  
> 2\. “But I like sprinkles on my steak.”  
> 3\. “Barry slow down,” (Honestly this guy-)  
> 4\. “Gotham is a nice place!” (He wasn’t lying Barry,)  
> 5\. Danced to QUEEN  
> 6\. Draws dick pics for fun ((with lasers) (so THAT’S where all the charred graffiti outside the watchtower came from))  
> 7\. X-rays everyone’s stomach to check if they’re doing well, ((THAT’S HOW THE MOTHERFUCKER FOUND OUT ABOUT THE MOTHERFUCKING CEREALS DAMN)(Dick, that was your fault,))  
> 8\. “Does this suit make my but look big?”  
> 9\. “He trusts ME,”  
> 10\. Broke the meeting table in half  
> 11\. Is currently having a 12 yr old crush with Batman
> 
> WAYNE LIST  
> 1\. Smiled  
> 2\. Laughed.  
> 3\. .  
> 4\. .  
> 5\. .  
> 6\. .  
> (Attention: Put more effort on this list, please and thank you – Barry Allen)
> 
> thoughts? more prompts and headcanons? lay it!


End file.
